john mayer ruined my valentine’s day

i’ll preface by saying that i absolutely loved john mayer. john mayer was the kind of artist…and there are few on this list…that i’d buy an album from without having to hear one song before making the purchase. his sound, lyrics, craftmanship was sooo captivatingly lovely to me that it moved through my soul with a kindred touch. one of my favorite songs is a perfect mix of blues-rock…called ‘vultures.’

i foolishly thought that an artist as diverse as john sounded…and having collaborated with so many different kinds of people…that his heart and mind were opened as well. how crazy wrong was i?

john mayer ruined my valentine’s day because i had gotten into a horrible disagreement about the n-word. with someone i cherish above most. i mean…this person is elevated most over most. this person is amazing and fun…and gleeful and sweet. and wicked and sweet at the same time. my fellow playmate and the beacon of a lot of my joy.

after discussing mayer’s comments in playboy…the horrific tone and disagreement we had threw our awesomely tight relationship into a wicked tailspin. my point is that john devastated me speaking so ‘stupidly’ about african american women. his comments making them (me, people like me with regards to race) seem ‘undateable.’ that old racial stereotype that there is an ‘us’ and a ‘them.’ and that some are human and they…that group is not.

they…were more upset with my willingness to accept the fact that john had used the n-word at all. that anyone would use it. the reasoning because the word causes hurt and ill will. that the word is nasty and gross and hurtful and horrendous. true. they could not understand my acceptance of him using the word or anyone else for that matter.

my feeling is that mayer socialized the word…saying it was wrong for him to do…regardless, but the context was not degrading, or used with a degrading tone…it was more of a discourse than an accusation. he was saying the word not using it as an assault.

what did mayer say?

PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?

MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
from…playboy

it would take a while to go into the pathology behind what bothers me so much here.

-mayer’s saying if he had a hood pass he could say ‘nigger,’ ok.

-mayer’s saying that black american life is a struggle…is that all it is? does every black american struggle? do non black african americans struggle? everywhere across the globe…the US, every single black person struggles worst than whites? oh john, some of us don’t have to…

-kerry washington in all her beauty has to be ‘white girl crazy’…eff that…

-having any joke lined up in relation to white supremacy and one’s own anatomy…kinda lame, kinda scary…

and to be honest, mayer has vowed to be done with the ‘media’ game…but he’s an effin rock star…he won’t be done…but will i?

yes. i’ll never buy (and i don’t believe in never) but i’ll never buy another mayer album or be a face to a crowd at a concert. i can’t. not every artist is 100% morally perfect for my ticket money or my purchase…i’m doing this on principle.

anyway…john mayer ruined my valentine’s day. and chris rock made my point…sunday night.

chris rock’s ‘kill the messenger’

there is a larger part…right before this clip, that explains ‘context’ more…all under the guise of the ‘gray’s anatomy’ actor isaiah washington and fellow actor t.r. knight and the use of the f-word.

the idea behind the joke here is that you can call someone by their character…not their content. hm…judge not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character…in a sort of trans-racial, trans-gender ideology the n-word, the b-word…lose their power. however in our present day reality…the weight these words carry is still too heavy. maybe one day they’ll be old and powerless like reebok pumps…and held to the standard of words like moron and dumbass…those reach across…the across. men are and can equally be beotches…as well as women. whites can be called the n word…these are words…with direct non-racial, non-gender definitions…but we are not quite there…no, not quite.