marbles

so yeah, i’m sitting here listening to atmosphere, this awesome rapper out of minneapolis. he’s freaking coo’ and i haven’t been able to detach myself from territorially diggin him. the temperature outside is 38 degrees and my window’s cracked ’cause my fireplace is on…ain’t that odd?

i watched a bit of katie couric’s grammy interview show in between watching the cavs play. i am mad obsessed with the cleveland cavs. anyway, i watched katie interview justin timberlake and it was a standard laffie-funny kinda interview but when she interviewed lil wayne she just had to ask him about weed and syrup. and about being a role model. those were the only two interviews i watched but i think it was just kinda stereotypical to always have to take it there. always. and it’s always rappers…always especially on mainstream tv. always. so typical. who cares? i don’t.

over dinner at a greek restaurant yesterday i had to hand over the ‘weeds’ season three dvd i had grown so close to. and will have to wait forever to see season four. not fair. anyway, my wine was awesome, sweet and robust and had a hint of honey but my friend really needed to go to restroom but these little girls were like playing, going in and out of the door. and my friend said she’d been drinking water all day. so we decide that she should sneak into the men’s restroom. she did, quite successfully but said she saw the oddest of things. a cocktail shrimp in a urinal. yikes!

i’m really disappointed with hollywood’s academy awards noms this time. what’s wrong with hollywood? better yet, ‘miracle at st. anna’ comes out on dvd feb. 10…tell me why that wasn’t nominated for ‘best film,’ ‘best director.’ and why the heck marisa tomei for ‘the wrestler’? her character was waaay flat and the stereotypical stripper…and why not ‘gran torino’ which is actually really good even though i hated the previews…i was sooo wrong.

much respect to president obama for stickin it to all those high powered CEOs who robbed the working man/woman for 8 effin years. much respect to obama for recognizing the crime and seeking to fix it…he’s done so much already. i find it bananas that you have these freakin critics of the stimulus package who issued president bush a blank check for years…we are in this mess because of the wealth distribution problem AND the war in iraq. the economy is not working right now because the people who power it worked their 9-5 for pennies…couldn’t even buy jack to stimulate the economy. and this is what we have…present speak…did you know that over 11 million people are not working…that means no one’s buying…and if you are unemployed and have no insurance if you get sick that’s more money right out of your pocket that could possibly bankrupt you. crazy times….

i’m all over the place tonight but all i was planning to say in this blog is that i kinda looked into a quote someone had posted. someone i respect. sooooo, i did some investigating and will leave some of what i am captivated by. i don’t know much of anything about anais nin…but i love the way she thinks.

have a good weekend, stay warm if you’re cold and stay cool if you’re hot…

the impressive quotes of anais nin ( a cuban-french author made famous by her journals )

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

“This diary is my kief, hashish, and opium pipe. This is my drug and my vice.”

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

“I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.”

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not possibly born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”

“Something is always born of excess: great art was born of great terror, great loneliness, great inhibitions, instabilities, and it always balances them.”

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.”

“Dreams are necessary to life.”

atmosphere’s dreamer…for you to listen.

‘rent filmed on broadway’

i sadly admit i JUST saw for the first time ‘rent’ the movie this year. soooo, when i found out the play would have it’s final run on broadway this year i was bummed i wouldn’t be able to make it to new york to see it…the cool thing is for four days ‘rent filmed on broadway’ is playing at theatres.

i have NEVER gone to the movies alone…but HAD TO last evening because i just HAD to see this film. the movie is like nothing i’ve ever seen…it is (in my area) only playing at 7pm and the tickets were $20 but i really really really am still reeling from it. i have to admit that my main objective was to see and hear tracie thoms cause she’s freeeeakin awesome and is the only movie cast member in the actual production from the last broadway run…she also kicks arse in quentin tarantino’s ‘deathproof.’ but as for ‘rent’ the rest of the cast BLEW ME AWAY…it’s really something to see…the cast is sooo awesome that they make u fall in love with all of ‘em. and it does something to this girl who loves loves loves to see talented people do their natural and beautiful talented thing.

‘rent’ cast from the original movie, taken at the apollo.

me and clive owen

i had a dream last night that clive owen and i were in a high suspense action drama. it was the regular clive owen a la ‘shoot em up’ and he was all sweaty and a little attractively bloody about the face. he had guns, and was wearing a trench coat, dark clothes and was trying to rescue his wife in a post-war dusty looking city at night time. i was the bad guy, surrounded by my cohorts and he sought recluse at our home, which was my aunt’s home in springfield, ohio.

clive needed to use our washroom and i, so cinematically snuck around the back of the house, ducking and staying low…like in the perfect spy movie and watched his shadow through frilly curtains…he was taking a shower. LOL.

(all i had was pizza for dinner…i promise.)

he wrapped the towel around him, put on the same crumbled clothes and drove off…my group and i followed him. he was driving an old green military jeep and had gone to find his wife. after we let him get to her…my dream ended.

weird, eh?

signs and wonders

so, a week into my bohemian lifestyle. having lost my job to india…and not working. i feel utterly less jovial than i had imagined. i often think about the last time i lived this way…it was in between summers while i was a student in college…undergrad. i spent days eating odd combinations of foodial experimentations and eating a lot of pasta, recording music and writing. doing tons of laundry, going to the library a lot and hanging clothes out in the yard…my fam didn’t make me work. i made no money at all. but really expanded…somehow inside.

today however…money is my main motivation but i’m still bohemian…sorta…

i’ve narrowed down the place i want to go. it became really clear last week. the place that i think is for me fits all of my requirements…but there is also one more place…my own very delicate issue of which i have been reassured over and over again. sorry for the vague use of language. i have a fluid time schedule to see what all takes place how…and when. so, internally i’m aching to be gone off into the place i feel God has told me to fearlessly go and somehow inside that makes me feel free. freer. once i get my fam moved to our new house…the journey shall begin…for me…and they have added their blessings.

i’ve ran a tour de force of films. with the help of my friend stewart who attends my church and helps me in my movie selections at his second job. and with the help of one other special person in the life of heartbreak.

the movie that has affected me the most…is ‘no country for old men.’ it’s the kind of movie that makes everything amplified in my real life afterward. it makes me want to make movies in the worst kinda way. adapted from a novel, the literal transistion is so rich. the dialougue is perfect and so unconventional. there is a raw pleasurable beauty to a film that has no cell phones, barely even credit cards or ATMs. the actors, josh brolin, tommy lee jones, woody harrelson, javier bardem…all the supporting cast…superb. i was literally awakened and mesmerized by every bit of frame. totally impressed and magnetized by brolin, though. the old west vs. new (modern) world in this thrilling, suspense absorbed film about a maniacal killer is really something impressive. and the end…oh man!!!!!!!

movies i’ve seen also ‘phenomenon,’ ‘the kite runner,’ ‘gone baby gone,’ and eps of ‘weeds’ all i would suggest.

peace.