i don’t know what it is…but i feel old. i feel so old that it even stifles the way i feel i act and think. when people guess my age…they are either playing around with me and giving me a number way too young just for kicks or courtesy or a lil sumthing else or they genuinely feel that i’m young…looking.
anyway, opposite of the negativity that surrounds my job…i have a few friends who are younger than i, significantly. they are vibrant young women and i am excited about them and their future. they come over and talk to me and share. we encourage each other…we do lunch. we talk music, movies…all kinds of crazy and not so crazy stuff. we talk constantly about all things life. one in particular…is pretty special and has taken extra care in making sure there’s some sort of everyday conversation. and i just wonder why. sadly, i can’t understand the interest…’cause i feel so freakin’ old. and i just wonder why i’m so interesting to these young girls…and i wonder what they wonder…about my age because every time i’ve shared something really funny or what i’d call ‘deep’ … we’ve seem to make cool connections but i just can’t understand their appeal for me. i mean, i think i’m cool, in a nerdy sorta way and i love culture, art, travel. i dress young…i suppose…i think i’m funny and smart but…i can’t understand why they’d wanna hang out with me…spend so much time with me. i’m way older than these girls…but not really. but sort of. and i’m thankful, for sure.
i don’t try to be young. i like what i like. i love jay z and jeezy. i dance crazy to trey songz’s and tori amos . i dunno. but i’ve let my age cloud my vision so much…it’s almost all i think about.
Recent Comments