certain aspects just hafta suck

i finally watched ‘little miss sunshine’ at the persistence of a friend of mine. she shoved both ‘little miss sunshine’ and ‘love actually’ at me…without backing down, so i gave in.

i actually grew enormously fond of steve carell in this film…more so than him in ‘the 40 year old virgin,’ gee, i wonder why? the little girl (abigail breslin) is so freakin’ adorable and i do love the cinematography of a bright yellow vw bus moving along under a vivid blue sky. and toni collette is most definitely an underrated talent and has been for a long time. i really liked the silent pilot (paul dano)…especially when he actually decided to speak. all that said, i didn’t fall in love with the film and may be too harsh a critic on this movie and may have to watch it again sometime. i just can’t say i went crazy for it like everybody else seems to have. but one point that hit me…and is actually perfect to my state of mind today is the all familiar life/role of artists in our society. i have come to the belief that to be an effective artist certain aspects of your life just have to suck. they have to be brooding and silent. they have to be hard and grueling and emotional. they have to allow you to feel like the last person on earth with a heart/soul. they have to push you…way way down. we have to live on this brink of torture…tiptoe the line a few good times to be able to capture everything correctly. if we fast forward to all the good times, heck, if we want to fast forward to all the good times….heck…if i would have fast forwarded to all the good times, most of all that i do, artistically would never come to fruition.

so on today…while my computer is pushing out a wild montage of indie drown-down yet undersided rock gems from the likes of the cure, the long blondes, the futureheads, the killers, i say viva la pain la agony la depression. and if up to it, go do something creative…and watch it inspire somebody else. kinda strange how that works, eh?

blustery heart’s day

so the day i usually opt to wear black is tomorrow. i’m sure offices and homes will be flooded with signs de amor (of love) flowers, cards, the exchanging of poetry, admirations, flirtations beyond belief, zippy electric love, or weepy depressive but good love…true love, old love, young, new. and so this year…i won’t opt to haterate the v-day. i’ll try and celebrate it i suppose. but i am heartbreak…and because i just don’t wanna say too much, maybe i’ll wear a black tank underneath my winter attire for all those…searchin but i may have …nevermind.

keep going…it will happen. if no, not and now…relish in that…you may look up and see your blustery heart’s day future…here’s hoping that you do. if not, tomorrow…keep walking. floss your sexy. you will find them.

one of my favorite love songs…as of like the last year or so…john legend’s ‘p.d.a.’

if you don’t have a valentine…you can use me…i don’t mind. happy valentine’s day, from heartbreak. sigh.

it’s all about the touch

so last night i attended a sit-down discussion between james mcbride (author and musician) and spike lee (my favorite film director of all time) at the mershon auditorium on the ohio state university’s campus. it was cold and rainy and wet but the night was very fresh, sophisticated and intellectual. this was my second time seeing spike speak at a university.

the first time was at wittenberg university. i just love spike lee. his contribution to the landscape of cinema is particularly rich and exquisite, personal, political and daring. my favorite all time spike lee film…this is soooo hard but it is ‘malcolm x’…my close second favorite is ‘25th hour.’ but it’s spike lee and you cannot just pick one or two and not mention ‘jungle fever,’ ‘do the right thing,’ ‘inside man,’ ‘crooklyn,’ ‘she’s gotta have it,’ and on and on. i made a point to buy ‘when the levees broke: a requiem in four acts’ last night. a film that terrifies me and i haven’t even watched it yet. i am afraid it will devastate and anger me beyond measure.

however, one point spike made…floored me…but it felt true to life for me. he said, ‘i am more influenced by music than film.’ yeah? me, too.

another excitable moment was a film preview for ‘miracle at st. anna’ written by james mcbride about four black american soldiers in italy in 1944 trapped in a village during WWII, starring derek luke, michael ealy, laz alonso along with john leguizamo and joseph gordon levitt. the preview bolsters the film as an epic but i think it will even go beyond that status.

i should add that james mcbride spoke briefly about his book ‘song yet sung’ of which he described it as a slave woman daydreaming of now. mind-blowing? yes.

anyway…it was a perfect night. and when i went down to take a photograph of spike lee signing endless autographs, my digital camera refused to cooperate. so i did the next best thing. ‘can i shake your hand?’ i asked. squeezed in by eager humans waving the night’s program notes. i was closed in on all sides. and he reached down and we shook hands. i shook the hand of my favorite director of all time. i touched the hand that touched the hands of endless celebrities…adrien brody, halle berry, angela bassett, samuel jackson, martin lawrence, denzel washington, alfe woodward, delroy lindo, jennifer esposito, ed norton, mira sorvino, rosie perez, michael rappaport, jada pinkett-smith, not to mention countless others. but yeah, i did wash my hands for dinner, later. i told my mom that i did…a little disappointed. ‘just remember the touch’ she said. and somehow that made a lot of sense.

i like toys

i like toys…i’ve always liked toys…the older i get the more seduced i am by the sheer power and the size of toys…in contrast, i have a cell phone. it is not a small handheld vcr, it is not a blackberry or a treo…i can’t see pictures of your vacation in spain or browse someone’s facebook profile on my phone. i can’t print out movie tickets or gps myself to the other side of town. i can’t … i refuse to check email even on my phone. my sister was cool enough to buy me a hot newer cell, it’s tiny, black and sleek. let’s just say in the arena of phones (in car world), i used to drive a kia (i used to drive a kia, actually…stick shift … YEAH…thanks victor for the lesson in the winter snow) and now if i upgraded to a newer kia (am not driving a standard H nor a kia…anymore) …that is (take the walk…i know it is a long one)/ meaning my cell is at best newer and hipper than the one i previously had and that is about all my cell has going for it…except my ringtone.

i freakin made my own ringtone today!!!! virgin mobile (my awesome carrier with awesome simone) allowed me to create my ringtone studio-style…if you’re like me and geeked out back in the day over music software like hammerhead and fruityloops, the interface will be simplistic like playing with legos. and for a person who loves music…this rocks my sick little music girl world. so the next time you hear a ‘tone that’s not j. holliday or katherine mcphee or some ish…might be a virgin mobile builder like me. pretty cool. and this is sooooo not an ad for virgin mobile…i’m just sayin…by the way, my song is called “juice.”  it’s a flaring number with happy-sass horns and a sick bass line. the drums crumble underneath.

(gee…)

what i’ve learned thus far. and possible recaps.

okay…so it has actually been a while since i blogged about the (insert scary music) job search and my progress. today…yes, super bowl sunday…tom petty on mute i will update you.

what i’ve learned thus far. and possible recaps.

internet job boards aren’t so hot

word of mouth is best

yahoo’s ‘answers’ feature rocks when it comes to compiling information about anything job related-it pretty much works like a huge word of mouth info board. not only can you find insider information about job searching, where to look, industry and business company specifics…you can learn about qualified headhunters/job coaches, resumes, cover letters and areas of relocation. the difference is that this network consists of people like us…the positive piece is you gain a lot of information from ‘regular’ people…the key is constantly working at it…on all levels.

yahoo is cool like this because it is just information overload from all sorts of perspectives. that works wonders any day.

also…if you want to work for a certain company and you find their listings on an online job board…it will take longer to do but i’d suggest building a company profile on that company’s own website instead of going thru a bigger site with waaaaay more applicants.

another suggestion….which i did last week…is to find a headhunter. we spoke, i submitted my resume…fingers crossed…prayers said. find out if the headhunter/job coach has a good track record. this is important.

oh, and make sure your resume reads like your own story…don’t go all ‘generic.’ make it read like a story only you can tell. you have to stand out. there are certain words and catch-phrases that are a total turn off…vague, overused…don’t say much. look ‘em up…and get them out of your life.

and never stop telling folk what you are looking for…you never know who knows someone who can get you in.

hopefully this’ll help. continue the good fight and leave me some advice…we are…after all, in the same boat.

and yahoo…dear yahoo…i could really write good copy for you. what do you think? and i just know you have an HR department.

go giants!